Parents are the reason, I am what I became …

I read Brad Feld’s blog every day, he wrote yesterday about how his father inspired and influenced him in this one .

I got inspired by this and was thinking about my parents role in shaping me.

My Mom, she was incredibly strong person who pretty much took care of our extended family.  She imbibed in my the values I have today

  • Do not compare yourself with the haves but look at have not, be thankful to God for being blessed with what you have
  • she Cared for people and was compassionate person – I probably learnt to value every person as human being from her
  • I was part of her entrepreneurial experiments, which inspired me do stuff when I was in 11th grade
  • Being the eldest of two, I had ring side view of pressures she had to handle (many a time pledged Jewels and redeemed it for her!) , she balanced my dad and diverse interest of  our extended family
  • Observing her made me a strong individual and also made me  mature quickly as a teen
My Dad just gave me one thing – Freedom to be me and that probably made me the person I am
  • I had to repeat my 4th Grade and then was on the verge of repeating 8th Grade but it my father who figured out a loop-hole and moved me to another school (I vowed silently to never trouble my dad about my education – I did keep it). In another middle-class house-hold in India, I might have never recovered and become Top 10 student (from my eight grade – I was in Top 10 ranks of my class till I completed my education – I figured out how to game the System i.e score marks)
  • He started bringing home Computer magazines in 1985, that made me explore programming in 1986 when I had completed 10th Grade
  • After preparing for IIT JEE for a few months, I gave-up – he was disappointed but did not insist I continue
  • I learnt BE Comp. Sc. courses were not tailored for Comp Programming career and told him in my 11th Grade, I am not going to pursue Engineering degree but instead do B.Sc. Comp Sci – he said OK (which was huge in 1980s India)
  • I wanted to stop education after B. Sc. and go work in Bangalore as programmer in 1991, strongly advised me to pursue Post graduate degree and I agreed.
  • Latter I made decision to go work in Saudi Arabia – he hated my decision but said nothing
  • I tried my hand in Entrepreneurship he supported me, I gave up (he felt I did not give myself enough chance to succeed) but supported me.
  • My Father introduced me to Cricket, took me to a test Match in 1981-82 – Making  me a life long cricket fan (it would have been swell  of an experience to taken him and Anand to CSK games!)
  • Every 4 years he tooks us to various parts of India and introduced us to how big and diverse India was
  • I learned the rules of the road and developed “road sense” at very early age from watching my father and what he taught us
After many years as my father was nearing his  retirement, we learned the decisions he made to support his children became obstacles in his career.  He was straight forward and unbending in his principle, this meant two things – it hindered his career and also he was not financially equivalent of his peers. He was so dedicated to his work that he left it to  mom to do heavy lifting of family related issues but I never felt he was not there when I required him.  I guess this where I modeled my work life …
Both my Parents came  from pretty well to-do Land holding farming family, where caste based discrimination was blatant. But groomed us to be pretty broad-minded, probably raising kids in Madras helped but they still had to over come their prejudices and not poison us with those thoughts.  This definitely helped me get along with all sorts of folks I came across in my life …
I would consider myself a good Parent if my Kids can some of these values before they become adult.

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